There’s no denying it I am old

No amount of purple, red or gold

Is going to alter that,

So what is left I ask myself?


I’d go out shopping on a spree

But who is going to notice me?

I think I’ll bag a bench in Beverlee

And sit and curse and shout at all I see!

Or maybe dye my hair bright yeller

And leer and ogle every feller.


Then I’ll have a little wee

And stagger home on bended knee

And just have marmalade for tea!

Next day I’d do it all again

Look out for Umbrella Jen.


Jenny Standing

Aka Umbrella Jen