I found a new source of food yesterday. Some kind people had left lots of food in an abandoned camp in Burton Bushes. There was bread, cakes, crisps and lots of other jolly things to eat. I managed to woof quite a bit down before my TLM (two-legged mum) packed it all away into carrier bags. I don't know why she just can't go to Tesco's and leave this to me. The nice campers had managed to burn down their tent as well - maybe that's why they had left me so much food. It's much better than in the lanes of the village. I keep find finding wrappers and packages that people have left out for me, but there's next to nothing in them. I wish they would stop teasing me and take their rubbish home with them.

My TLM and TLSD (two-legged step dad) have been using me as slave labour today. They kept rolling up the TV guide and asking me to take it across the sitting room in my mouth to give it to the other one. I did it a couple of times just to prove I could. Then I got bored and decided to lay a big slobber on the magazine - that put a stop to their laziness! From now on they can carry their own TV guide. The same happens when Postman Ron delivers the mail. He wants me to take the post up the drive in my mouth. But if I do that, how will I be able to eat the biscuit he's got in his pocket? I mean, I don't have two mouths, do I?




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